Possible Side Effects of Planning a Wedding.

Good news: we’ve officially set a date for the wedding!
Even better news: It’s this year! I get to be Andy’s wife THIS YEAR!
Scary news: Now we have to plan the wedding in less than 6 months.

All of this means that we’re heavy into wedding planning. Well, it means we should be. And we’re getting there. We have a date, location, caterer (because we were smart and picked a location that does the catering), engagement pictures, an awesome bridal party, and my dress. Planning an event that results in a commitment to spend a life together can get pretty all-consuming. And I suppose it should be. It’s a pretty big effing deal.

We wanted a very short engagement, because I knew I would go insane if I had to think about planning a wedding for more than a year (and by a year, I really mean 15 minutes. But we can’t get married in 15 minutes…right?). And since an outdoor January wedding in Indiana seemed like a bad idea, it had to be in the fall. We get to keep our same anniversary, so that will probably make our lives easier in some way when we’re old and people ask us how long we’ve been together. But having such a short engagement means that the wedding will completely occupy my brain for the next five months, whether I want it to or not. And so far, it is. For better or worse, in sickness and in health.

Will it occupy Andy’s mind as well? Yes, probably. But for some reason, all decisions seem to default to the bride. Everyone asks ME what’s going on, and what I want. I’m apparently supposed to have opinions about what everyone wears, how their hair looks, what we’ll eat, and every single other detail of the day. Why? Both of us are going to be part of this marriage. And the idea that, “Oh, well girls just LIKE planning weddings” is a complete lie. I’m sure some of them do, but I am not one of them. Liking dresses, dancing, good food & pretty things is not the same thing as liking to call vendors, juggle budgets, and make everyone who is close to you happy, while at the same time preparing (both logistically and emotionally) to commit to a person for the rest of your life. It’s not. Don’t get me wrong – I want us to have a wonderful wedding, and I know we will. I just don’t think I have the bride gene. (But I feel like I’ll be much better at “wife” and “mother” when the time comes…)

There have been a few things I’ve enjoyed doing. I’ve made a wedding playlist for my iPod. It’s certainly not all inclusive, but it has songs that I’ve always wanted to play either during the ceremony or at the reception. Songs I’ve loved for a long time. Songs that I USED to be able to listen to without becoming inexplicably misty-eyed. But now, when I think about them in the context of marriage, they suddenly turn into musical onions being held in front of my face. I could be at work, WORKING, and listening to these songs, and then I just start sniffling, even though I’m really thinking about URLs and landing pages and query strings. I’m not typically a crier. I didn’t cry when he proposed. I didn’t cry when I lost my job last year. I just…. don’t really cry. Unless I’m listening to “The Luckiest” by Ben Folds, “Question” by the Old 97s, or “Mahna Mahna.” Obviously.

Another all-encompassing part of the wedding is the color scheme. We chose peacock feathers because they’re pretty, I’ve loved peacocks since I was a kid, we’re obsessed with NBC, and we wanted to have a bigger color palette to work with since I don’t want the bridesmaids to dress alike. The only problem is, now, whenever I (or anyone else close to me) sees anything with a peacock feather design or color on it, it’s suddenly “OMG KRISTIN YOU HAVE TO USE THIS FOR THE WEDDING!!!” Which might explain why I bought a dress in jewel tones, a small kleenex box with peacock feathers on it, and a blank notebook with metallic peacock feathers (for planning, right?). And I have two boards on Pinterest filled with peacock stuff for the wedding. I’m glad we picked a fairly popular color scheme, because it’s been really easy to find stuff for the wedding. And there are plenty of great ideas out there for ways to incorporate peacocks. But will the peacock tunnel vision go away after the wedding? It seems like I can’t even walk through a clothing store without my eyes immediately being drawn to blues and greens.

There are also a lot of… other ideas out there. Since I’ve kind of had a one-track mind lately, even when I’m trying to relax and watch TV, the wedding sneaks its way into my thoughts. Everything becomes an inspiration. Joel Mchale’s shiny expensive suits on The Soup? Oh, Andy could wear something like that! Watching Back to the Future because Andy bought it on BluRay? Hmmm, I wonder if we could get a DeLorean as our getaway car… (If anyone has a resource for this, please let me know. I’m serious.)

I think this all stems from the guilt I feel when I’m not working on the wedding (you know, after I come home from my 10+ hour days…). I know I have a lot to do, and not a lot of time to do it. It’s making it feel like a chore. I just bought an e-book about planning a wedding in 6 months. It suggests breaking things down by month (as in, 3 big tasks each month), and says what things I need to focus on each month. And I was already right on schedule for the first month! I can handle that, and it’s much less daunting than every single other planning “helper” I’ve seen so far. According to The Knot, I have 158 days to accomplish about 287 tasks. And people wonder how the term “Bridezilla” came to be.

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2 Responses to Possible Side Effects of Planning a Wedding.

  1. Seashell says:

    Good luck with the planning Kristin. We planned our wedding in less than 6 months, 22 years ago. It can be done, but it is very stressful. I think it’s stressful no matter how much time you have! Why do we do this to ourselves instead of eloping????

  2. Karen says:

    So…this is kind of like planning a play that only runs once. With that said, whatever I can help with, I’m happy to. (And I can’t wait to maybe get some concept/theme stuff cleared up Thursday night.)

    You know what the best part is? No matter what goes right/wrong/indifferent, at the end of the day, you guys will be married. Which, really, is what this whole thing is about.

    Love you!

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